Healing and prayer room M-Sa 10-12 Pst

Sunday, December 19, 2010

My theme for my journeys for 2011

I gave this topic to some friends to think about writing a sermon on what they think it means.

I am working on one as well.

As I was pondering this thought, it came to me what the overall theme is going to be in this leg of my life's journey during the year of 2011. It will be again working on developing a life in honoring God and living a holy lifestyle as He is holy.

I did this leg once before when I first started my journey. I have my notes somewhere and I'm sure there are some friends that since I'm brought up this task of writing a sermon on Holiness will dig it out somewhere and remind me of it :)

I want to pay a short tribute to this group of ladies. We've been part of a message board for the past six years and we've become close. Several have met already and I've met a couple over the years. We do have a genuine friendship even though we've met through online through our friendships of those we met in person. (If that makes sense!)

I started doing my journeys with these ladies and they encouraged me along the way. They were interactive journeys where I wanted us all to participate in them and we all learn together. They were a major part of what I've been learning over the years and I thank them for their love and support even though some are still scratching their heads over my antics. Love you Selah and WOF ladies!

I say this because as close as we are, I am always afraid that what I learn I may step on toes along the way and I hope that they know that's really intentional :)

So as I begin to mull over what to do to start 2011 I am sorting out my items I need.

First is God's word. Its essential to have with me all the time because it is my reference.

Second, I know that I need to change some things healthwise. I usually go on a 40 Daniel Fast every year at the begining of the year, praying for my city also. So I know how the first 50 days are going.

Third, my house (both spiritually and physically) needs to be in order. We've been gathering the last several months and collecting and its time to start tossing and make room for things that need to stay. God has blessed us with a living room and a family room settings that I've been imagining for years.

Fourth, I do plan on making an organized schedule. That is hard for me as I feel like I've got a stick up my butt (excuse the phrase but that's how I see it!) when I start sticking to the schedule and then have to defend what I'm doing. I thought once my daughter was raised and out of the house, I could be a bit of a free spirit but I look where that's got me in the last year and its time to buckle down.

I've kind of started one with Yahoo as it sends me reminders and I've been deleting them. I have to stop that.

So here's to 2011!

Going back to 50 day journeys

Last year at this time during a prayertime I felt the Lord was calling me to do a one year journey instead of doing seven 50 day journeys like I had been.

As I look back on this year, I can see why it was a year long journey. I've expanded my territory beyond the American borders, I've been to a Carmen concert and several other things have taken place that shows that a year long journey was a good thing to do.

On the other end as I look around even though Spiritually things are in order for the most part, other areas in my life are out of control.

While in Uganda, I chose to only wear one skirt with one of two t-shirts that were provided by Hope 4 kids. I wanted to know while in another culture what it would be like to only have one outfit to wear every day for the next 12 days. I did change for church the first Sunday but stayed true to my commitment for the rest of the time. Did I make a change? Only in myself.

As I went through my closet many times since coming home and my dresser drawers I've been almost ashamed as to how much I have to wear and to choose from on a daily basis. As I do laundry and find the hamper half full of clothes that are mine, (we have the heat turned down so I'm usually wearing two sweatshirts and a long sleeve shirt daily), my heart breaks that I know I have way too much.

Even rooms in my house are so cluttered because we are trying to downsize our home yet, we don't know what to do with what we have. We clean out one room, but store all that was in that room in another room that is off limits to guests who enter.

During the year I had made lists when I had big projects coming up so I would be organized. They were so helpful in a lot of cases. I was surprised when I put "spend the day with hubby" down for the last Saturday in October before I left for Uganda, I was done with everything for the trip that I had the day free. However, he didn't as he had to work!

I don't know what this year will bring as my heart is already breaking as events have taken place that are only in God's hands.

One other thought on my 50 day journeys that plague my mind as I write this.

In the Bible when you have a field that you have seeded and harvested for 6 years, you have to let it rest for the 7th year. I've been doing 50 day journeys for 6 years prior to last year. It was a good rest, but now its time to plow the field again for another season.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

My definition of Praise and Worshp

Praise and worship is a lifestyle that requires obedience. It is something that takes control of your life as a Christian because you belong to Christ. It is our thoughts, our words and our deed. Everything we do needs to be in praise to God.

When I get to this thought and meditate on it, sometimes I think I am getting to where God wants to meet me, and then I forget what it is that I am doing or thinking.

I used to think that those that were in certian denominate with "guidelines" had it right. Women wear only dresses at all times, the only book you read is the Bible and you don’t go to movies, bars or anything that would cause you to stumble. You sing only the old hymns because they have meat in their words. Yet, when I look at that type of lifestyle, and it does become a lifestyle to a point, it is very hard to obtain. There are too many rules and it becomes more of a religous lifestyle.

When giving praise and worship to God there is only one rule. Concentrate on Him. Our eyes need to be on only Him. Don’t worry about the bills; He already knows how the money will be there to pay them. Don’t worry about your family. When your eyes are on Him, He will take care of them. Don’t worry about what others may think even if they saw you do something the week before that was not right. They don’t know what your heart is right now and God will take care of that situation.

There was a time when I was in ministry that I had not put Him on the throne and worried about everything else and tried to do it on my own trying to prove myself. I know that God dismissed me from the ministry because for a time I had dismissed Him from the throne in that ministry.

I needed to find a job after the ministry ended or we were going to have to move back to Medford. I would be willing to work in a restaurant because I knew from the first day that we moved here on August 16th 1998, that God wanted us here. So we bought a restaurant and owned it for three years. I felt like Nebuchadnezzar at this time and looked more like him with my scraggly hair, blood shot eyes due to lack of sleep, not to mention that anything I said didn’t make sense at all. Like Neb, God was working in my life, getting me back to where He wanted me to be to put Him in my life where He is in the throne.

During this time God took me on a journey on learning the 7 different ways to praise. I had first heard Carmen’s song about “The 7 ways 2 Praise” 10 years ago and again heard about the seven ways to praise at a local women’s conference. I also bought a book by David Jeremiah called “The Wonder of Worship.” My goal: to change my thoughts and my actions to a point that it would be an act of praise and worship to God

I started my journey by writing down the different Hebrew words for praise and their meaning. Halal means to celebrate and to boast, Shabach means to shout when in the depths of despair, mustering up praise to Him (I was here more often the all seven during this journey), Zamar is using instruments, music, and dancing, Barak is blessing, and bowing, Todah is thanksgiving by the use of extending our hands, (I believe this is by clapping and by serving others) And Yodah is the raising and extending of the hands. Tehillah is the use of all seven during a time of praise and worship.

There were times when I could see that really God had not given me the Neb curse, but too often then not I opt to believe it. But when the year after I had studied this had ended, a new journey had began of putting to practice what it means to really praise Him, with all of the seven ways.

Praise and worship is every part of the service whether it is in the music, praying, offering or sermon. Because it is an audience of One, and its what is in our hearts that we are giving back to Him. It continues when we leave the front doors of the church behind us and continue in what we say, do or think as we walk in the world. And it becomes a lifestyle of obedience that we submitted to trusting in Him. He is a God who loves us and deserves continual worship on earth as He is receiving it also continually in Heaven.

It’s a never ending journey in learning how to put this into practice in our daily lives. We are constantly bombarded with things or the world because we are living in the world. Just recently I found myself in a place where I again was doing something to prove to someone that I knew I was capable of doing something and that even though God had shown me that I was capable, I didn't need to prove it to anyone on earth.

Praise and worship is a lifestyle of honoring God by being obedient to Him in all things that we think, say or do. That’s because He is a Holy God, creating us to be His holy people.

Monday, December 6, 2010

In memory of a good friend

I only have a minute to share-

I have pics uploaded on Fb with my african trip and will post my journal here when I can.

Today I am attending a memorial service of a good friend. I met her when she came to town about 3 years ago. A strong woman in her faith in Christ.

As I got to know her I saw how our she was to be a mentor for me in areas that God was teaching me as she had learned them herself. I didn't understand this position that she had when I first met her and didn't submit to it at first. As time went by I began to see that what she had been through was what God was showing me that I needed to learn.

Last year we talked about the journey God was putting me on (or so I thought!), about studying the Charismatic Prayer movement for the past 2000 years. She had done a personal study on her own and it was awesome to talk with her the few times we were able to meet.

We were in the same bible study together with Biblical Foundations of Freedom and I know she had problems with small areas of the book, not doctrinal issues but small grievances of personal differences. But she came when she was able to combat her illness.

Her spirit sang everytime we got together of love and joy and how much God loved us and cherished us. There was a word that she used one time that we don't use often enough and for weeks several of us had discussed it throughout our Wednesday night bible study and in our women's study.

The word is "revere". Reverance to our God. I knew this affected her greatly that we revere the one who created us. We honor Him that is Holy.

Yesterday our pastor did a short sermon on the definition of Holy, Redeemed and Sanctified. I think Kay was looking down and smiling as we were sharing yesterday our thoughts on these three words knowing we would come to this thought:

God is Holy, He redeemed us through His Son Jesus Christ, and we are sanctified (set apart from the world) through the blood that Jesus shed.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Realizing The Spirit of Rejection and how to break it off

The Lord has really been hitting me with the spirit of rejection lately and opening up old wounds that I really hoped were healed.

We’ve all been through some sort of rejection in our lives, some at greater degrees then others, but it does plague us, if when we choose to not admit it and repent of it. I say repent because the spirit of rejection is built on so many areas of bitterness, resentment and so on that even the small act that someone does out of kindness can be taken as a form of rejection by someone else.

There are four walls of rejection:

Fear of rejection
Rejection of others
Desire of rejection

Fear of rejection:

“For what I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me.” Job 3:25

Fear tells us that all things happen for our detriment. The fear of rejection has a tandem of fears with it like the fear of man and the fear of failure.

This fear keeps us from even trying anything, like not sending in a book we’ve written because the editor may not like it, or not going for the job that we are actually over qualified for because there is an area that we don’t really succeed at.

God promises that if we trust in Him He will give us perfect peace. Is 26:3 “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusted Thee.”

Self Rejection:

When rejection is never satisfied this is when we decide we have to attack ourselves. It wasn’t bad enough that the editor didn’t like the book, we decide that we weren’t good enough to be a writer to begin with. Or when we find that someone we knew got the job that we knew we could have had if we went in for the interview, we cut off the friendship over jealousy.

Lack of unconditional love and acceptance plays a big part in self rejection as if those that claim to love us put conditions on us and we can’t measure up what’s the point of loving ourselves in no one else can?

Rejection of others:

We think its easier to reject others first before we get to know them that way we are preventing ourselves from being hurt ourselves. There is a big problem with this thought.
One area that was made aware in the last few weeks was in trying to do everything myself. I didn’t want to overburden anyone. I found out that in planning this trip in the things that needed to get done, that when a person offered to help, if I told them I could do it on my own, I was robbing them of the blessing God was going to give them and to me from their help. I can honestly say that I feel so loved by those in my church family and my community with the help and support they’ve given me in preparing for this trip from making over 100 dresses and 35 pants, and from strangers who donated pillowcases and t-shirts and even personal items that came from Ohio.

The other day I was having lunch with friends and I was complaining about feeling like I was in a shell for the past several weeks as I was really liking being home and not wanting to leave my house. One of my friends told me she had a Word for me.

“God is saying that you are a shell because He is forming you into being a pearl. The longer the pearl stays in the shell, the larger and more luster it becomes.”

I had tears in my eyes as she was speaking to me. Because I just recently learned that Uganda is the Pearl of Africa!

(If you haven’t figured it out this was one major area of rejection that has been released in the last couple of months!)

Desire for rejection:

There are people who really can not be happy for others. They don’t see beyond their own front door step to see that there is a world that God has created for them and those that they have to tear down. They know that once they hurt those that are working to make something a success; they will have met the desire for rejection in their own lives.

This rejection sets us up for by treating others badly or with indifference. Hold people back with cruel words and manipulating circumstances that could be meant for improvement in theirs or another’s life is a good example of desire for rejection.

From the book “Biblical Foundations of Freedom” by Art Mathias, he lists on page 142 how to break down the walls of rejection:

Renounce the power of ______in my life
Speak blessing over my life
Seal my ears from hearing rejection
Seal my eyes from seeing rejection
Seal my mouth from speaking rejection break the power of the spirit of _______ in my life
Command the spirit of ______ to leave in the name of authority of Jesus Christ, under Whose blood I am covered.
I’m taking a different turn in my topic so bear with me.

Do Christians have feeling of rejections?

Yes we do! In the last several weeks I’ve listened to stories from others and they’ve listened to stories of mine where it is prevalent in the Christian community.

It is a strong spirit that I see hanging over so many of my friends that have either known the Lord from their young life to their later years in adulthood.

It comes from things that we’ve had said to us before we came to know the Lord, or when we did know Him but there were those that didn’t that were influences in our lives that brought rejection upon us.

We don’t realize how large this spirit is. Think about it, when you find out that you are bitter towards a person because of something they said to you that really didn’t mean anything as the way you responded to it, rejection is still there because of the fear of what would happen if we let our guard down.

We hold onto memories that we had of as a child, and we find that we transfer those fears into rejecting others who don’t know what happened to us and do the same thing for a very different reasons.

Rejection is a strong emotion that needs to be eliminated from our lives.

I do believe that we are still in God’s will while we are struggling with this emotion and that His gifts of prophecy, edifications, tongues and the like are still very active in the Christian life, but think about how much more it would be if we broke off the rejection that is holding us back from being completely His?

Monday, October 25, 2010

Why I am who I am

First and foremost I am who I am because of my relationship with Christ.

Secondly, as I try to walk along in obedience to what He’s called me to be in many facets of my life; some do go better then others. It’s in the struggles that I am learning to find strength to continue to walk out my faith.

That being said, I still struggle with confidence in what God’s called me to do. For example people like to make comments about how I do things some not nearly as helpful as others if you get my drift. Some can really hurt to the bone when they don’t really see how deep God has called me in some areas of my life.

One thing God’s called me to do is to see Him as my employer. I’m a field worker is the best way to describe my employment with Him. It’s actually what I’ve always wanted to do and that’s being able to be there to help someone in need. Some times I have financial rewards in this area, sometimes not. But His currency is not our currency so actually I am always rewarded for what I do for Him, and abundantly rewarded at that. He’s the one that calls me to work.

I’ve let God know of my needs, and for the most part no one else. I’ve told the story about how I whined about a tube of toothpaste and my client handed me one. Yesterday a friend bought me an ink cartridge for my printer and I asked her if I whined and she said no and asked why I would ask that. My response was that “good, I’m growing!” On my trip I’ve stayed as close as possible to not mentioning my need (letting others do the math!) and God has been faithful and has provided, and yes there has been stress involved in that, but for those who see stress levels rising, look at where the faith level is at compared to the stress level and then reverse it!

Some have asked why I don’t do make up and the like. When you live like I have since last October when I made this decision, it’s called a luxury not a necessity. Someday I will get back there but I’d rather see my money being used elsewhere right now. It also goes in the same manner as for other things that get taken for granted that which we think we need in life.

I leave in a week for an area that although very rich in culture lacks in monetary stability. Because if this status it is still considered a third world country. Again, its out of obedience to a calling that I have on my life. I really have better things to do during those two weeks; celebrate two birthdays- my daughters 20th and my grandmother’s 104th, my 22nd anniversary and my daughter graduation from beauty college. But I know that God’s call comes first and those that are important in my life know that too.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Living on Faith

We forget sometimes that once we know Christ as our Savior, we are His for Him to do as He pleases.

All we have to do is trust Him completely.

I view it like this:

We are given a pass to go to a retreat. It is given to us for free. As we get in the car with our friends we have things we have to do along the way, all are part of the plan for the trip that He has set for us.

Maybe its to feed lost children. Maybe we have clean a few toilets along the way, but we ignore the task completely, but change our minds and our hearts to do it in obedience. Even if we don't do it just right, doesn't mean the gift of the retreat is taken away. We are still on the road trip. Even if we get a flat tire along the way, spend too much on gas and have to stop a bit and reoganize the budget, the road trip doesn't end.

The only way that our pass would be revoked is if we just give up and turn back to where we began, or get out of the car and try to get there on our own. And those are not options and they won't get us into the retreat and the trip in the car was the only condition because the Holy Spirit is our driver.

"I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." John 14:6

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

What my study this year was suppose to be on


I am still learning how to upload videos and I guess I should have downloaded this one and the uploaded it here. I'll try it later.

This is a video with Jack Hayford and many others discussing the Revival on Azuza Street in 1906. Very powerful movement in the Christian Faith. Saving it here for future reference in hope to do my 2000 years of charsmatic movement study in 2011.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Breaking off old thoughts

Over the years I'd been told so many things about what to believe that its a wonder that I hadn't gone nuts.

For example, and I assume it was in fun, that what I watched on tv, read or even thought about affected my health. I do believe to a certian degree it can.

I remember growing up how people made judgements on missionaries and how they gave up everything to go on the mission field that even having an ice cream cone on a family outting brought on a certian level of guilt.

So its not hard to imagine when I'm hurt by some things in the last few weeks and sometimes acted on the pain I felt that I wonder if I'm losing my grip on the faith of which I stand on for what He's called me to believe. Something else I'd been told was that you had to watch your every move or else what you prayed for wasn't going to come to pass.

For instance, I was praying for a miracle this past weekend, but it was going to involve my participation. However, in the early hours of Sunday morning, the day I prayed for the miracle to occur, I became ill and stayed home. I can't say it didn't occur because while I was praying for mine to happen it did for a friend. So did it mean that I wouldn't have my own miracle?

I fought this thought most of Sunday and came to realize that again I was listening to a lie that has been formed for years. Since the miracle involves one of God's own, whether I participated or not wasn't the question. I did my part. I prayed for open doors. And the doors were opened, but those involved either didn't see that they were there, or just ignored them. It was actually out of my hands. Whether I was well or not, it was up to the individual.

We put too much into what we think others should be doing or not doing, when all the matters is if the person is doing what God called them to do. Then we need to butt out.

By learning more and taking out old thoughts I'm also breaking off the rejection that I'd felt for so long in my life. Things that were said that were never true but circumstances at the time brought a false presentation.

I'm seeing myself on the other side of the spectrum and I'm enjoying the freedom I have now. Where I can think for myself, can enjoy who I am in Him, and not worry what another may think because they feel the same way.

I've finding the area of my life more comfortable for me. I am finding also that time spent in His presence is much sweeter when I arrive not carrying baggage of old thoughts into the Throne Room. I think He's liking that time with me also.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

My year long journey so far

I had started this journey in January, planning on studying the prayer movement in the past 2000 years. I have yet to get to that study.

I have however, been studying the Spirit of Jezebel, the accuser of the brethern, and more recently "Lover of my soul". The only difference is that its been more of people watching rather then book learning.

I have asked the Lord to give me "double vision", to see beyond what we see physically but more inward so that I can pray more effectively for the person or event. I'm still working out the kinks now that the prayer has been answered because now that I see things more clearly I have to learn to use discernment in other areas and not let my passion be revealed in the event.

I had mentioned to someone last night that I hadn't really felt any growth in the past year in my life, going from doing my 50 journeys to making a year long study. I felt lost at times until I remembered that in this past year God has opened doors that had been closed in the past.

I attended PrayerQuake this year for the first time. What an awesome event that was, and a lesson in trust, grace and mercy that followed along with event.

I also attended my first Carmen concert, something I had wanted to do for many years, yet the prices of the concerts or the locations was a factor.

This year I will be going on my first mission trip, something I've wanted to do about as long as going to a Carmen concert. This too is a lesson in trust, grace and mercy. Its also a lesson in breaking off things that had been said to me or about me that was not in line with what God has had intended for me on this trip.

So I guess this year I have learned quite a bit, but in longer phases.

In my 50 day journeys, I usually picked something such as for physical; changing something from my diet, or adding excercise, for spiritual; it was a fast or taking out something in my life that was unpleasant in my walk with Christ and replacing it with something that pleased Him, and with my home it was usually taking one room during the 50 days and doing whatever deep cleaning that needed to be done to it or organizing the room better to fit the needs of my family. Sometimes it worked but most of the time it didn't.

So this year I lumped them all together and I've been a vegetarian more often then not, I've been decluttering about 7 items a week from my home by either giving it away, throwing it away. I've already touched on the spiritual end of my year long journey.

So that's it 9 months later. I have to remember its my journey to God's heart that I'm on and it may not be in my time, but His is alway perfect. He gave me three words at the begining of the year: Take only what is offered to you, be content with your wages, take jobs by word of mouth. It is all summed up by one statement that He keeps bringing back to me: To obey is better then sacrific. I'd much rather be His obedient servant then anything else. And if that is what this year is about, I'm His to do with what He pleases.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Cargo Pants out of a sheet

Fold the sheet twice lengthwise. The waistline should be 16" on the fold (making it a 32" waist). The baggy part side on the fold is 13" across on the fold, and tapered to an 9" at the bottom of the pants. On the side with the open ends and an extra fold, cut a "J" 8 " from the top and 4" across. (You should get 3 pairs of pants out of one sheet). You can adjust the pants measurements how you would like, these are just the ones I had.

Cut the fold open on the side and then open the two pieces, place right side together forming a "U". Sew the two pieces together along side the "U" about 3/4 and then another 1/2 inside to strengthen the crotch area.

On the right side of the pants, will be an inside pocket, taken from two of the "J" pieces cut out earlier. Measure about 4" from the top, and pin one side of the pocket to the pants matching right sides. Sew. Do the same for the other side.

Open pocket side and iron. Sew a finishing stitch on the front pocket as shown. Do the same for the other side.

I didn't get a picture of the waistline-turn under top of pants 1/4 and then another 1 1/2 inch for waist band. Sew around waist band along edge leaving an opening for elastic. Cut 26" piece of 1 inch elastic and pull through. Sew elastic together, making sure it is even all the way around. Close opening.

Sew a 3/4 in hem on the bottom of the pants. Now sew the side seams.

For Cargo Pocket: With the other two "J" pieces, square edges to be even on the sides. fold under one of the pieces like so, and sew a 1/2 " pleat in the middle.

On the second "J" piece, fold in half right sides together and even the edges for the curve on both sides. Sew the right sides together, leaving an opening to turn it inside out as shown. Sew along the edge.

Sew the pocket on the left side of the pants as shown on the outside fold of the pant leg.

The Finished product. Its hard to see the Cargo pocket but is is there on the left side of the pant!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Reading "The Shack" Part One

I'm reading the book "The Shack" and several statements in this book really stick out to me.

Not in so much about revealing the main points but I was aware of some comments made by others who were skeptical about God being a form of a woman in the book. When I first came to that part I was concerned as to where the author was going with his storyline.

This statement I read when Mack is talking with "Papa" stood out to me:

" I am neither male nor female, even though both genders are derived from my nature. If I choose to appear to you as a man or a woman, its because I love you. For me to appear to you as a woman and suggest that you call me Papa is simply to mix metaphors, to help you keep from falling so easily back into your religious conditioning." The Shack, page 93.

Growing up I really had no problem understanding the relationship with God as my Heavenly Father. I have a great relationship with my own father which helps facilitate the spiritual relationship.

So when I read about Mack's situation about his relationship with God is based on his lack of a relationship with his father, that part was hard to grasp.

The one relationship that I do have trouble in really understanding is the one of the Holy Spirit. Becoming pentacostal when I married (I was raised Catholic, and protestant), it was hard to grasp really who the Holy Spirit was in the begining. I'm learning on a day to day experience in understanding more of His personality.

The charactor of the Holy Spirit, Sarayu is interesting in this book. Mack sees her almost as flighty yet once he sees her "garden as a mess" it pleases her as its a representation of his soul and she is the gardener. Now this I can relate to!

I will post more as I continue on in the book. Its been a fun book to read and I'm grasping more thoughts as I go along.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

On July 24th I did a pillowcase dress making event at our church. While we were there and brainstorming we came up with a new pattern to use. Below is what we came up with.

Pillow Case Dress Pattern-Sewn on straps version

Lay pillowcase on cutting board. Cut off 2” from the top. This will be the sewn on straps. Cut straps in two and cut off ends. Set aside.

Cut a 4” x 4” “J” on the sides for arm holes.

Turn down top ½ inch and then another ½ inch to conceal raw edges. Press.

Cut two 7” pieces of ¼ or ½ inch elastic
Sew casing leaving open to pull the 7” elastic through.

Sew on bias tape covering the arm holes.

Lay the cut 2” pieces flat and iron. Fold all raw edges in ¼ inch.

Fold ends of straps over raw edges of bias tape at arm holes from front to back of dress. Sew edges and side seams together. Finish with a an “X” at the ends to secure the strap to the dress.

The finished project:

Thursday, July 8, 2010

When we see those God loves being put through the fire

I was reading an article yesterday about someone that I respect greatly in their ministry.

As I read both sides I felt the Lord tell me that the accuser was at it again, trying to destroy one that He has called.

It was an event that happened a few years ago. I was hoping to meet up with this person a few weeks ago and was suprised to see that they were not at the event. When I read the article it made sense.

I was praying for him through the day and night, knowing that the Lord had His hand on his life.

This morning I was reading in Proverbs 24 and the verses 11- 12 stuck out to me.

"Rescue those being led away to death, hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, 'But we knew nothing about this,' does not he who weights the heart percieve it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Wil he not repay each person according to what he has done?"

I at first thought something different until I read the scripture before it.

vs 8-9 "He who plots evil will be know as a schemer, the schemes of the folly are sin and men detest a mocker. If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength?"

Sometimes we want to look at the worst in a situation because of the way the world views events, when in God's eyes He knows all that has taken place. That whom He has raised up to share His word will be put through the fire and the fire will be that of which the person's heart is matched to what God has called that person to do.

We may not know anything about what is going on in a person's life or what the media percieves what happened. As God's people, those that He's called to be His servants we are to only to rescue them, not accuse them. We aren't to make judgements on them but find ways to build them back up to where God had placed them. We are to give them back the appointments God had given them when satan "dis" appointed them from that position.

Gal 6:1 says : "Brothers if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted, carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
So today, pray for those who are going through the fire. Even if you find out something about someone thats make you question where they truly stand. Don't judge them, but begin to pray over them blessings. God will take care of the rest.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

A Contrite Heart

When I pray, I go for the gutsto. I go for where the root of it all is and that's the heart.

I was reading the other day during devotions Psalm 51. From verses 15 to 19 it shows what God wants from us.

"O Lord open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifce, or I would bring it. You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. A broken and a contrite heart. O God, you will not despise. In you good pleasure make Zion propers. build up the wall of Jersalem. Then there will be righteous sacrifices, whole burnt offerings to delight you; then bulls will be offered on your altar."

As I was walking through the San Fransico Airport I was watching people walking around or sitting in the food court on cells, computers and reading Wall street journals. Some in expensive suits and some in jeans and polo shirts making deals and doing whatever in the business world. There were moms whose strollers were filled with extra luggage and had children in tow either in a carrier on their chest or they held their hand with one of their own while pushing the stoller with the other.

One this day and when we returned the security level was at an orange.

Even though I had what is the equivalent of an associate degree in business related skills (I do have a diploma at least that says I have this!), I don't get what is going on as I watch these activities. The mom thing I could definitely get, (even with one child but I do have nieces and nephews that I took with me places too, just not in an airport!). I thought of the orange alert that we were at, and my heart cried out for them, as much as they were planning and such were they prepared that they may not make it to their next destination and had they prepared themselves for the afterlife?

I prayed over the airport during the time I had left, but I know God is preparing me for a longer time of praying when I return. I need to plan accordingly for that event as well.

Something that thrilled me while at PrayerQuake 2010 was that the govenor of Arizona has declared a week of prayer and fasting for the state!

I love it! A time for Arizona to get on its knees and ask God for wisdom in how to handle the events of their state! A time for hearts to be geared and to be contrite towards Him for the answer. I don't know if the Govenor is a believer of Christ, but the fact that he took this stand speaks volumes for who he is trusting in.

When I pray, like I said I go for the heart. Its the heart that beats for Christ that will show Christ to the world. I don't understand all that about business as its changed so much from when I got my diploma. I'd be lost trying to figure out a plan for whatever anyone was trying to plan for their meeting. Even when we broke up in groups in one of the classes I was listening to more strategies to teach someone how to pray and I felt as if my response would not fit. Talk to God from your heart, tell Him is in it. He wants to know you some much more then you want to know Him. He wants your heart to beat as His beats.

There's a new journey forming with in me. Its has to do with a word God gave me before I left for PrayerQuake about no passivity in Brookings. No more putting off what needs to be done because of lack. We need to get up and move. The body of Christ needs to wake up, because if we are asleep, so is Christ because we are members of his Body.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Sometimes we just have to go through the blahs

Back in February with I was dismissed from my employment even though I handled it well and went back to work for former clients and took on a new one in home care, I was really having a tough time trying to get it "together".

I like to be active, like to have things to do all the time and down times are rare for me as I am always doing something with my hands.

Since February I was feeling kind of blah, not really wanting to do much of anything. I started studying a new children's church series and was getting used to writing everything out by hand as I didn't have the programs or items I needed to present it in the manner I'd been taught while working with Child Evangelism Fellowship.

An event a couple of weeks ago kind of woke me up. My mom was in the hospital and at one night after a family graduation I went back to say good night. Other family members had already gone home.

While there talking with my mom I remembered how I treated those while in the nursing home. My goal was to treat them as as if they were my own family members.

Now someone dear to me was in that postion. At that moment while I was in the room alone with her I woke up from the blah feeling that had been hammering me for months. It was then realized where I was to be from now on.

During "blah" times that God brings us through are not times that He lets us dilly dally either. He does keep us busy with projects that at the time seem useless but when the "blahs" have receded we find that the projects that looked rather out of place fit together in the this picture puzzle God has of our lives.

Since February I'd been a vegetarian/vegan more times then not. (In the last three weeks that lifestyle went out the window, but is slowing coming back).

I learned last week that I've been actually working on feeding my soul during the blah times. Learning more of what God wants my soul to be fed to please Him as I am His employee. I had thought I had forgotten that, but I've been in His employment as a "Blah Supervisor"for quite awhile. (Hubby has stated when I get more blah then him we are in trouble!)

It sometimes is hard to see if He's a good God when we see all that is taking place in the world. But He really is a good God. He provides goodness for those who trust in Him. Sometimes we have to go through the blahs to see His goodness.

"I'd rather be a doorkeeper in the house of the my God, then dwell in the tents of the wicked". Psalm 84:10b is a very good example.

Being in His presence of protection give you insight to what is going on around you. His nature is good as He has wonderful things to give us to enrich us. But as humans we have a human nature and we tend to go for the tents in our blah times because we don't think we deserve to live in His House and His courts even though as children we have those times to use to grow closer to Him.

Even when David was in the strongholds in 2 kings he felt as if God had deserted him. Instead, God brought to him those that were broken hearted, in debt and it was those that David learned to use as his army to fight Saul. David was in God's protection and he saw that those who were in dispair had hearts that matched the burden of his own. He knew who he could trust to carry out his orders.

So when you are in the "blahs", look to see how to use thise time for His glory. Chances are He already started preparing you for your next assignment.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Watching God's plan in the ones you love

This has been a tough week for several people that I know including myself. Through personal events and watching friends go through their own crisis its been a trying time for everyone.

I've had some inner issues I've had to work through only because I've seen things from a different perspective in certian events this week. In doing so I became stressed and more cautious over those involved. This morning I was getting my coffee ready and thinking of this situation, my mood was a bit off in that I was worried about something and as an afterthought thought "Oh well God's in the situation". That was when I felt that "smack" on the side of the head that I get when I know its time to wake up and smell the coffee!. (In reality, its no joke now. I used that phrase so much that one time when I used it I was in the coffee ailse at Krogers/Fred Meyers.)

One of the many things I learned this week was that we aren't to touch God's anointing. I also take this to mean that when God is working in someone's life, no matter what it is we are not to interfer with our own judgements or perspectives in whatever they are going through. God's plan is infinite and He is a soveriegn God and is working in all lives including those we love. In other words we don't let our pride get in the way of what He's ultimate plan is in someone elses life.

I'll take this a step further. As believers in Christ, we are one body. Keeping that in mind we all go through different stages in our lives because of whatever we brought into the family of God from our past, "which we are allowed to look at through the blood of Christ" ( a quote from a sermon from Bill Johnson). As it states in Roman's 8:1" For there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus".

Being now adopted into the family of God we are now striving to be like Him, but are working through and learning to leave behind that which we brought into God's family with us and remembering that its covered by His blood. We need to remember Prov 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and don't lean on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him and He will direct our paths". We must allow God to manifest Himself His way, which to quote Bill Johnson a second time "He manifests opposite to the manner of the day".

What may have taken place in one person may not take place in another because of what they are bringing in the situation. In thinking on this and also that I learned this week to be careful how I treat God's anoited I was able to apply it to the situation I was dealing with. I now have a new understanding of the events that have taken place. He is using them for His Glory and my attitude of being stressed and cautious wasn't helping the work He was doing.

So after repenting of this one (Its too early in the morning to start this!) I now have better thoughts of the situation and know that its part of God's plan. Its going to be amazing to see what He does, in addition to all that He's done this week!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Day 21 of Daniel Fast

Its been a good journey. Being the last day I contemplated a lot of things from the past few weeks that took place. I've stayed away from meat products and most dairy products. I tried to do vegan when it was possible and when it wasn't I stuck to a vegetarian eating plan.

My other commitments didn't fare as well this past week. I'd love to blame the rain for my staying indoors alot and feeling like there was nothing else to do but watch tv or check my email on the internet. But I know I could have found other things to do when I got other activities done that I had scheduled to do.

God was faithful, even during the times I wasn't. He still provided in many ways when I failed in my commitments. It didn't mean that I could just blow off my commitments but that He is soveriegn. Its a word I had trouble understanding for quite a while. I'd heard it so many times but didn't understand its meaning. The best way to discribe it is that He is merciful. He knows our hearts and I learned through a time of devotion yesterday that when He knows our names, it means He knows our hearts. He knows our hurts and sorrows, and our joys and what makes us happy.
He knows that we do try to keep with our commitments but that circumstances arise due to the world that we are living in. There are times when we have to make a choice, and there are times when we have the choice made for us. My lack of commiting to my goals were my choice. Period. I admitted that to Him.

So tomorrow starts a new day. I'll do another fast, just not sure when. I had thought about doing one the three days in Arizona, as I want to hear God's word clearly, and to be encouraged in what He's called me to do.

I know I'm going to stick with the vegetarian lifestyle moreso now then I had in the past. Some meat will be added once in a while as I need the protein.

I did discover that by taking caffiene out for the past three weeks I've slept longer and deeper then I had prior. My dreams were much more vivid and I was able to remember most of them when I woke up in the morning. I believe that God does talk to us in dreams and its up to us to discern which are His and which are just dreams.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Day 14 of Daniel Fast

For the past two weeks I've had this nagging thought in the back of my head. I've had set backs on this fast, not in my food but in other areas that I said I wouldn't do. Not that the temptation was that strong, it was due to other things that came into play.

The thought that came to mind once in a while was that Daniel spent the three weeks camping out during his fast in continual prayer. He had his servants that were there with him during this time, but he was alone for the most part. God took care of him there and showed him visions of what would take place from that time to the events of today and beyond.

I know that some who are regular fasters would think that I didn't take this fast seriously. I did at first and I still am. My hard areas have been the weekends when I'm home with hubby, and its raining. I do have lots to do anyway and so watching tv isn't that hard to stay away from, but it is on most of the time during the weekend. I did finally give up this weekend of not sitting in front of the tv.

Its also hard to stay away from life as it goes on around you. People need things, you have to work, and you see people everywhere you go if you go outside of your home. And if you stay in your home for three weeks people start to think somethings wrong.

I guess the voice hear is someone that I admire for his fasting experiences. And I agree with that voice that I don't think as Americans we really know how to fast as they would in a third world country. For a person to say "I'm going to go and pray for three weeks" there would be more understandable then if I were to say it here. It would take scheduling, budgeting and other things to put into place before I take off by myself for that period of time.

I've listened to people commit to fasting for lunch but then at 2:00 stop and get something to eat.

Fasting is committing yourself to a sacrifice to hear God better. We allow so many things to distract us in our lives with ipods, tvs, cell phones and internet that we don't hear Him clearly. We nod and say "Amen" to something that we think is great that the pastor said that Sunday but we forget what the sermon was about after we've left the front doors to the church. (Ours was about our 1977 Birthday of the church).

Fasting means to give up that which controls you. If food controls you give it up and let the Lord sustain you. Do you know He commanded the ravens to bring food to Elijah? The ravens obeyed Him, why can't we? If your calendar is so full you can't even take time out to breath, toss it. He wants you, not your schedule.

I've got one more week on this fast. I'm sticking to it as its the goal I started. I'm considering and praying about the next one I do. Because that is the one I want to be able to hear God better as my goal then is to prepare me for my trip to Uganda in November. I want to be used by Him fully with no outside influences to deter me from what He is calling me to do while I am there.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Day 12 of Daniel Fast

I was thinking this morning that I had miscounted my days!

I'm still learning more of God's grace during this time. My two co horts on this fast with me I was hoping would add their two cents in but have yet to respond.

God has been working on their lives as well and showing them many things as to what He as in store for them, which was my prayer for them during this fast. It was exciting to get a text from one of them the other day saying "Guess what! We're going to Africa!" For a while she was struggling even though she knew God had said she was going.

The last few days have really been faith builders for me as I'm learning how to trust in Him and to see what His plan in the situation, and that His word is true.

In the past it was hard to stand for what I knew God was calling me to do when others were influencing me or circumstances were influencing me. I've chosen to stand firm in what He has said, and He has provided, not in a manner of what I was expecting. It falls in line with a quote that Bill Johnson stated "He manifests opposite to the manner of the day." I apply Proverbs 3:5-6 to that quote because really when we trust God, we can't lean on our own understanding. They are two different spheres. We have a small brain, God is the master of the universe. We can't comprehend past what we see and God is unmeasurable.

So today I admit I am struggling, but the struggle is mine, the temptations are ones that are easy to ignore, I just had a "tude" today. I'll get through it.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Day 9 of Daniel Fast

I am reading Derek Prince's book "Shaping History through praying and fasting." As I read it I was praying through it for more power in my prayers for good government as that is the will of God. My for the week are prayers for misunderstandings to be resolved and for forgiveness on my part in those misunderstandings, and for guidance as I continually walk in faith in His will.

I worked last night so I didn't get to my bible study on time, and was woke up by a friend who needed to talk. It was one of the misunderstandings that I really needed clarification on and greatful for answered prayer.

When I arrived at the bible study a new lady was mouthing to me "thank you" several times. I was a little confused until she told me that her living conditions that I had been praying for had improved in the past week. Later I was told that the woman had seen me walking by her home and knew I had been praying for her (word gets around that you prayer walk in a small town!), and she could feel that God answered her prayers along that line as well.

God is showing me that even when there are times when I falter on my list of things I'm fasting from that He's not setting a hard and fast rule with me. He's still blessing me, and when I know that something is not something I'm to do I learn to walk away from it as its in line of what I am fasting over. My goal is to walk away from any idle talk, gossip and the like and it includes what I watch on Tv or respond to on the internet.

The other night I had tried to go to bed early as I had to work later that night but couldn't sleep. Hubby was watching a cute spy movie with Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones. I decided to sit up and watch it with him. When it came to a scene like so many where the couples are rolling around on the floor I thought "great, now I got to leave!" I was starting to get up with Sean Connery said something about how he couldn't go through with anything more then the kiss, and I was thinking "This is so a God thing!" I was able to enjoy the rest of the movie in peace.

There are still many areas that are small areas still that I know God is going to break through in the next two weeks. I just have to stay focused and faithful. He will bring me through. He is that faithful to His word. I just have to stay faithful to mine.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Day 7 of Daniel Fast

I know I haven't posted in the last six days, but I've kept up with eating vegan/vegetarian during this time. We are on a limited budget and I've only been getting what I can afford when I go to the store so its been mostly one or two veggies for a stir fry for later in the week as I gather more veggies in the next day or two, lots of rice and beans, and a salad mix that I can get four servings out of one bag for 98 cents. I stopped eating tomatoes about mid week as I read that the acidicity level is not good for the stomach when making a change in the diet that quick. I've eaten vegan and vegetitarian most of the past year, but have faltered over cheeseburgers and such more times then not prior to this fast.

God is showing me many things during this time of having a reliance on Him. One thing He told me several weeks ago and He's reiterated it to me was that I was to only take a job by word of mouth.

Twice a couple of weeks ago I had the oppurtunity to apply at a local facitlity. I prayed over and over about it and the next day two people that I had worked for at Good Sam saw me and stated that working in home care field is the best for me as I was less stressed, I was more active and not as tired and wore out. Even the person I work for said the same thing. At that time was when I felt God saying to take jobs by word of mouth.

So last week I was praying while driving to Curves and asking God again if what I heard was correct. I have an application for another facility that is along the lines of home care that I'm praying if I should fill out. I was praying this as I was driving and when I got to Curves, went around one turn and a someone from my past came in. We had bought the restraurant from her several years ago and we were discussing our woes of owning it. She asked me what I was doing now. I told her of my working as a CNA and doing home care. She asked if I did and respite care, and I told her I did. She then said that she wanted someone that could take care of her mom while her and her brother went out a time or two. I was hired on the spot by her.

Earlier this week, I bought a recliner for 10 dollars for my husband. This was probably a splurge but it was needed as he didn't have anywhere to really sit as the couch he had had done its time. When the men were carrying it out from the mission, I thought I had seen a huge tear in the seat. I was going to say something but the conversation between them, my friend was where I couldn't get a word in edgewise. I was also calming down my friend as she was frustrated over another situation. Going home I know I was transfering a lot of my husband's frustration of he saw the tear, and I didn't know how to get rid of the couch as the misson didn't want it. I knew they didn't, but the man wanted to look at it to make sure which is why I took it down there.

As my friend was driving she was talking about her daughter who had just moved out. I asked if she wanted it. In five minutes her daughter and roomate had a "new" couch, and a board that made sitting in it a bit easier. (Yes, we could have used the board but that's not the point of the story!)

So we get the recliner home, and I'm thinking of the tear in the seat, and as hubby took the recliner out of the back of my friend's truck I looked and the seat was a flat as it could be with a slight crease in the seat! I was happy! We got it inside and it needed some major cleaning which I spent the rest of the day and part of the next day doing. What we thought was a bleach stain was something else that with a scrub brush came off, and there are some stains that I am still working on but its very close to being new!

Later I was praying about my desire to go to Prayerquake in Arizona. I've wanted to go for years but could never afford and this year is really no different.

One night I was praying and having a bit of a pity party as I get when I know God is going to bless me with something but I always think of someone else that needs it more. God hammered me on this and told me that I needed to take the blessing when it came.

So the next morning I get a phone call from a friend who said she would help with expenses if I could pay for the conference. I was like "Yeah!" I couldn't stop jumping up and down in my house and had to move around as we've had plumbing leaks for the past 10 years and not knowing what parts were the worst I didn't want to fall through!

Its been an exciting week as I see strongholds broken that have been rather stagnant over time. I've got two weeks to go. So excited to see God working!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Day one of Daniel Fast

I worked last night so when I got off work this morning I went straight to bed. I did pray throughout the night for my co horts and myself for areas that we are praying about on our trip to Africa in November.

One big area that I see already is communication. Both of my friends communication in different ways, one prefers emails and the other doesn't. I have put it in email form for both so that its written down anyway.

I did clean up a lot around my home and went to Curves as planned. At noon I sat down and prayed again for my friends and for their families to see what we are seeing as we prepare for the trip.

I'm reading Derek Prince's book "Shaping History through prayer and fasting. He brings out a lot of things about how prayer and fasting combined hold back events that could be detrimental in our lives.

For those who don't know, The Daniel Fast is a vegan fast. There are different types of fasts in the Bible for different ways and for different meanings. The forty day fast Elijah and Christ participated in and that was mainly no food or water. The three day fast in Esther was also no food or drink and brought courage to the young lady to stand up to the king and risk her life for her people.

The Daniel Fast occured when Daniel decided to not eat anything any meat or sweets and no milk touched his lips. He fasted for 21 days and then an angel appeared to him and told him that he had been detained by the prince of Persia. It was by the assitance of the archangel Micheal that this angel was able to get away. What is also interesting is that no one but Daniel saw this angel. Those that were with him on the banks of the Tigris river had ran away and hid themselves, but could see nothing.

I feel that the Daniel fast was what we needed to participate in. There are obstacles that a couple of us are dealing with that we feel need a breakthrough.

So that was for today. The hardest part was that I'm so used to noise going on in my home that I was frustrated that neither my walkman nor my stereo could get Klove and I couldn't get it on the net today either. I did listen to the 3rd cd of a series on fasting from Bethel Church at Vista Point in Medford. It was very encouraging to listen to as I cleaned up around my house.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

A fast for a breakthrough

I'm starting a fast tonight. It will be for the next 21 days.

In the last couple of weeks it was impressed on me to do one with some friends as we prepared our hearts for what God is calling us to do. I'll be using my blog as my journey during the fast as I concentrate on what God is showing me during this time.

I'm going back on a vegan eating plan, giving up tv and the internet with the exception of the blog, the emails of encouraging my friends on the fast with me and another prayer group that I'm involved in.

During the weekend I didn't realize that God had opened a door for me to have a more comfortable place to pray, next to my prayer garden. A friend and I dug (she dug more then I did!) and worked on an area for my bench to sit on using bricks in my backyard that were for a former walkway going nowhere. I'm finishing the project of the walkway this week and working on either a border for my prayer garden or a fence, I haven't decided which yet.

Fasting to me is a time of reflecting on who God is and also a time of breaking through something that has been a standstill, sitting on the edge of happening one way or another. Its the breaking down of strongholds that have inhibited a closer relationship with the Father. That is my goal.

It will be time of gaining better understanding of my children lessons as I'm writing without distractions that seem to encumber me.

I'll still be going to Curves every day to break the plateau I'm in and to lose extra pounds that crept up on me during a hiatus I took a few weeks ago when my body was reaking havoc on me.

So that's my plan.

This should prove to be an interesting journey.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

He has found Favor in you

For a very long time God had been trying to get me to understand something and it wasn't until a situation that took place a couple of weeks ago did it finally sink in.

He has found favor in me.

The verse "We have all sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God". Romans 3:23 I've known for years and quoted it when teaching kids about salvation in CEF. But I didn't have a clear picture of what it meant totally until I began studying to see how the two statements work together.

God's favor never leaves us once we know and trust Him. It is always there from the begining that we said that we believe that He gave us His Son to save us. Yes we sin as believers but His favor is with us forever. 1 John 1:9 states that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The world is a very tough and very judging place. But God's nature to us His children is not to judge us but to be just with us in our walk with Him when we stray. He's nature is to correct us when we confess to Him what we've done. God has found favor in us in what we do. He restores us by bringing His glory down to us as we have fallen short and can never reach it on our own.

The only time God's favor will ever leave us is when we turn our backs totally on Him and reject Him. I believe that He is ready to take back the offender who rejects Him up until the final breath that person takes on earth because of who God's nature is.

So know today that God has found favor in you, His child no matter what you are going through. He loves you with an everlasting love that will never cease as you are His creation and His desire is to bless you abundantly.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Praising Him in the strongholds of our lives

The other day while working out, a friend and I were talking the plateaus we were in. We both were doing a phase in our Curves eating plan which was to increase our caloric intake for a couple of days until we reached three pounds over the area we had plateaued, and then go on a lower level phase to lose the three pounds and see if we loose more wieght. We continue this until the plateaued wieght decreases. We also increased our workouts to an extra 30 minutes a day at the gym and I've been walking more to break the plateau.

A few weeks ago when we had started talking about our plateaus, I was reminded of Shabach, the hebrew word for praise that is used when times seem dark and lonely and we are struggling to get through our strongholds. I shared with my friend that it was the same as being in a plateau. We have to increase the praises to go deeper. We are praising Him because we know He will bring us through and we know there is an outcome to our circum-stances.

Its also the level of praise that brings more intimacy with God. Like a marriage, the tough times will either make your or break you depending on how you handle them. Its the same as in a relationship with God. If we just sit back and wallow in our sorrow and keep up with the "poor me" attitude we really aren't gaining any ground in solving our problems.

We need to read His word and be at His feet daily to grow closer to Him and during the times of our hardest we need to be there more, praising Him for the work He is doing. Being in His word we see His charactor more clearly and see that He is a loving God and that He has great plans for us. Jeremiah 29:11 is a good verse for that. Also He has promised us He will never leave us nor forsake us in Heb 13:5.

So when you feel like you are really at the end of your rope, start praising Him. See what He will bring for you to comfort you and help you to hang on until this trial passes.

If you don't know about what I am talking about, wouldn't you like to?

Jesus God's Son has given up His life for you. We just recently celebrated that event this past weekend. He went through the area of impass that your are facing so you would not go it alone. He wants you to trust Him with your life. John 3:16 says that God so loved the World that He gave His only begotton Son so that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life."

He doesn't want you to perish. We were born into sin and God can't have sin in heaven and the only way He could have a relationship with us was to allow His Son to die on the cross for us and take our punishment on himself. Romans 6:23 states that "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God".

Nothing we can do on our own can gain us access to heaven. All God asks is that we confess our sins and accept Jesus as our Savior and let Him guide us in the decisions of our lives.

God loves all of His creation. Most of all you and me. Let Him show you how much.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The journey continues.....

A song was posted on FB yesterday by a friend and I added it to my wall. It was called "I'll walk by faith".

Yesterday when I heard it I began to praise Him by dancing and singing. Its my goal to walk by faith in all that I do.

This morning I woke up thinking about a mission class I took when I was a student at Northwest Christian College in the early 80's.

One of the books we read was "Peace Child" by Don Richardson and I remember sharing this book with people in the church I was going to appalled over the idea that people were told they could accept Jesus in their throat because their culture believed that the center of their being was not their heart but in their throat.

As I think back and I'm made this comment before with people in my age group and those a generation before: The spirit of religiosity played a good role during those times in the church. The family dressed up for church, walked in together and shared together, never letting the dirty laundry of the home life enter the doors because they believed that it didn't belong in the church building. Yet I remember every Sunday hearing the minister talk about what was going on out in the world and no one would budge even if it was happening in their own homes. It was more embarrasing to admit to someone that the trials you were facing were the same as someone else in the church.

However over the years with the Jesus Movement the church as a whole has changed. People are entering that have dealt with sins of drugs, alcohol and sex and are being forgiven. People are opening up their hurts and pains and letting others comfort them and its no longer a thing of keeping up with the Jones as people are pulling together to help one another.

I've talked to people that are around my age that grew up in the church, but fell away. They don't see that the church has changed as they remember what it was like 20 to 30 years when they were younger. They see the church as judgemental and that they don't belong.

It means that we have to do what we need to do outside of the building. If the Christ we are worshiping in the building is also outside working in us it is a much more powerful sermon then can be preached at the pulpit.

As I work with seniors who have fallen away from their faith, very few understand the term of "relationship" when refering to Christ. They remember a God who was not there for them when they needed Him.

So the journey continues in finding ways to share Him to others, while seeking new things about Him. Showing a Christ that will change the mindsets of people who have never really met Him for who He is.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Prayerwalking is good for the soul

About five years ago when I was starting another 50 day journey, God told me to walk the streets of my town for the next 50 days.

First thought I had was that I needed rain gear as fifty days without rain is pretty much unheard of in the fall season. Although Indian summer hangs on until late November, it still does get rather chilly for a walk.

I was working at a local toy store and a couple of other places at the time so the prayerwalking fit in with my schedule of walking to work in the mornings and having my hubby pick me up when I got off work, which was usually a half hour after I was done and so I would prayerwalk the port.

I did go through most of the streets during the fifty days and also through out the year prayerwalked our churches in the area.

As I started this project of praying over homes that I was walking through God showed me several things to pray for. In my neighborhood there were four drug homes. There were also homes that were in bad decay and needed much repair. My neighborhood was prayed over beyond the fifty days. In that time frame three of the drug homes were gone and the people moved to other areas. ( The fourth disbanned early last year).

Homes on our area that were in decay were getting new face lifts and new homes were put on the lots where the homes were falling apart and beyond repair.

But I know that God was working inside the hearts of those in the homes and that was what He was more concerned about.

There were businesses on the main Hwy that I prayed over, walked the parking lots including a motel where I was asked to leave as I was making the owner nervous. Granted having a woman walking around the parking does tend to make people nervous and I understood that and left.

Months later he was arrested for drug manufactoring.

One day I was walking the neighborhood where our library sits. I went to work later that day, and a pastor came into the toy store and knowing I am a believer told me that he had just left the library where he was able to obtain one of the rooms for a church service!

Yes I know I am a bit quirky at times and people do look at me funny when I do something because God told me to. But as a friend pointed out a few weeks ago at a prayer time, "I knew it wasn't Satan telling me to come to church late!".

So this was on my mind today as I was thinking about our church's 21 day fast between now and Easter. As I was trying to think of what to add to the fast I'm already on I realized I have a large list already of things I need to take out of my life if not for 21 days, for the rest of my life.

So, I'll be out and about again for the next 21 days.

God bless.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

learning to be content

My husband likes to remind me occasionally of quotes I've made to him when life seems as if we can't seem to get past our circumstances to meet our goals.

For three years I worked with the same clients in home care and I grew to love them over the years. We have a great relationship that up until a few months ago I was too stressed to see what was going on. I was in school and had just finished when I began to think things that I prefer to not mention. Like I had stated before I had a mindset that I thought I had to match my husband's income to get out of our debt quicker, pay off the house, and be able to do the things that we wanted to do above the mountian of medical bills that had piled up between Dani and I in the past year.

When my employment ended at the nursing home, this couple hired me back on call for now. I feel as if I am back home.

Several months ago as I was driving to their home to work when I was on the day shift, the Lord reminded me of something I had prayed for several years ago.

Hubby and I's dream was to eventually buy a piece of property out of town, make payments on it until we could afford to put a manufactored home and it and sell where we are. I wanted to have an ocean view that I could look out at every morning the sun rise and the boats as they were going out to sea, sipping coffee on the deck and having my devos.

One day my client's husband and I were standing in the kitchen and I was looking out the window and I realized, that God had given me my dream.

So it wasn't in the form that I was hoping (for one thing its is a stick built home!) and it really wasn't my home, but I was able to go to work, have coffee in the breakfast nook and watch the sunrise either when I got off work in the mornings, or watch the boats leave the port when I got to work during the day.

I also took pictures of deer roaming on the property and playing in the field below.

God had given me my dream then and He returned it to me when I was done with this past journey.

Do I regret my education? No. I was able to do that while working. I don't regret any of what I've gone through in the last six months. I admit I had thoughts of telling them that the prodigal has returned home, but my Oford American Dictionary states that my experience was not prodigal material as I was not wasteful or extravagant in my journey. I increased my learning in taking better care of those that I do care for already.

In learning to be content I have now been able to let go of the fear of being retired and still living in the same house I am in now. It really doesn't matter as I really like this home and the area I am in. There's still a lot of work to be done here, but we've got plenty of time to get it done.

Being content is not easy when you watch the outcome outwiegh the income, and watch that the things that you already have get worn to the ground and you can't replace them like you would like to and have to do without for a while.

But contentment means that all of our needs will be met when we need them. Apparently I don't need my family room as the old dining set is there, as well as parts of the kitchen that we are still working on when we found the pipes were leaking, not to mention the master bathroom where the former vanity is still taking up a small portion of the master bedroom until we can get the floor put in.

But I am content with where God has put me. I am His employee, even though at times I still ask "Why me?" Because even though I made the choice to work for Him, He first chose me.

Monday, February 22, 2010

As I stated in my last post I am working on a Daniel Lenton Fast between now and Easter.

In my own opinion and for some it may seem as a warped sense of thought I do see a connection in my employment ending on Fat Tuesday. God wanted me to change some things in my thought life as well.

I started actually a day late with signing up with Greg Dickow's Postive thinking Fast but so far it fits for what I turned from what could have been thoughts of failure of a goal I had set a year and a half ago to seeing it as just a change of direction, not a failure of a goal.

I've heard people tell me that I'm taking my firing pretty well. I'll admit some days the old thoughts like to pass through, but I have learned to remind myself of verses such as Prov 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him and He will direct your path"and Jeremiah 29:11 "I have great plans for you, 'Says the Lord' plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future".

We may not see how all things work together that we do in our lives except when as it states in Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose".

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

When circumstances change God's plan doesn't

With this mindset of working as God is my employer I'm learning that circumstances may change but His plan doesn't.

Several years ago when I started working I wanted to go into nursing but I allowed fears to come in that made me change that direction. No matter what I have done in the last several years God still had that plan in motion.

I've learned over the last several months that there are many areas in nursing now that were not available in the late seventies/early eighties.

The Nursing home facility is not for me. I thought it was but as I look back just in the past couple of days the stress of trying to keep up with things that sometimes aren't pertinent to a job was just has hard as working the job.

Over the years I've had the op to working with various stages of people in thier lives from those have lived with mental and physical disablities to the elderly and those that have been abused or have abused their bodies with alcohol and drugs. I've enjoyed that atmosphere as I enjoy working with a person on a one on one basis and learning the person's ablity and strengths and helping them to achieve the goals that they set for themselves.

I'm not a vindictive person and I don't like to try to fight for something that I find others are more qualified then myself. I find that I spend more time apoligizing for having an "attitude" and correcting it then if I didn't have the attitude to begin with it. When its time to move on, I am learning to take it gracefully, knowing that my time there was done to best of my ablity and that I did it for God's glory and not my own. Yes I am broken hearted for a time, but its a normal reaction when you find that circumstances have changed. When you realized that God is the one you are working for, the plan stays the same.

What is next in this journey? I don't know. I'm waiting and listening. Praying alot. I started today with a Lenton fast, something I haven't done for many years. I'm still going to stay with a vegetarian lifestyle as its healther for me.

Like my title states, my circumstances may change but God's plan doesn't.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Sometimes we take on a offense from a person whose hurt is far beyond anything we can think or imagine and what that person says to us is out of their pain and their perception of something while they are working out the painful experience in their life.

I'm reading a book by Art Mathias about why we do what we do. It goes along with why some will say they aren't convicted over an area in their life with something while others are convicted over the same area. It has to do with things that have been passed down from generations of feelings of rejections, bitterness and the like that we end of squelching the things of the Holy Spirit.

The bible tells us that we are to be filled with the fruits of the Spirit. That clashes with areas of pain in our lives from feelings we've picked up from cirmcumstances were out of control in our lives. We have to focus daily on how we are going to live and which kingdom we are going to live in.

There's two kingdoms, God's and satans. God doesnt' violate his nature. He's not going to give us something of His if we still have feelings that are not from Him. It would be tainted and soiled and not used for its intention.

Satan will violate his nature because he is a liar. He will make you believe that you have the same Holy Spirit and can do whatever you feel like when in actuallity what you are doing is not glorifying God.

I am speaking for myself because of areas that I am still working on. Does God still bless those of us who are struggling between kingdoms? He does because when we do the right thing, He blesses us. When we do the wrong thing He doesn't, but if we confess our sins He forgives us and the blessing return. We may have to pay for our consequences for our actions of what we did was wrong, but we have the freedom of forgivenss from God and He will protect us.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A follow up thought to my Ghandi post

In the bible study today the quote began to take form.

Whose kingdom are we serving? Are we serving God, truely serving Him? If we are we will have His fruit of the Holy Spirit in us. We would seek to obey and do His will with all of our hearts.

Are we serving satan? He carries evil like a second skin and a person can have an innumeral amount of demonic activity in their lives.

God can't voliate his nature. "We have become immune to sin so that we don't understand that sin in our lives separates us from God. God called each of us to be holy and set apart. We are to be in this world. but not of it. Sadly, many of us are "leavened " by the things of this world. Then we wonder why God's power is not evident in our lives or our churches." Bibical Foundations of Freedom by Art Mathias

This may be why we are not so liked amongst those we are trying to share Christ with. We are doing our own things saying that its okay that we do them even if someone else is convicted of the very thing we are particpating in.

A quote from Ghandi

"I like your Christ. I do not like you Christians. You are so unlike your Christ."

This quote has me thinking in the last couple of days as to what is it that we are doing wrong? Where are we not showing the love of Christ to our friends, family and to those in need that we have yet to meet?

My pastor brought up something in our service yesterday that I hadn't considered and is a strong part of my personality for those who know me. I can become a mother lion and protect my friends when they've been hurt. And recently I did let my anger get to me when a friend did get hurt and I took that offense on myself. I've done it for my daughter and for my husband several times over the years.

Do we take offense in areas where we really aren't suppose to? Battles that aren't ours to fight? God has already won the war and if you don't know the war I'm talking about read Revelations. We win. So why are we still fighting battles that God has already won?

There are only a few times I've protested something. Abortion is one of them. As I think more of how I handled myself in those arenas, I have to say its not really my nature to stand on a street corner and hold a sign. I did it once, but I don't think I'll do it again.

I am finding out the one area that we can always win a battle that we are currently fighting as we are living in a world that is not our own. Prayer and fasting. Those arethe only weapons we have that we will never lose.

Christ never protested anything and I think He had plenty to protest about while He walked the earth. He approached people with a gentleness and a kindness that they weren't used to being in whatever condition they were in whether it be an illness or sin. He didn't judge them for what they were doing. He showed them how much God loved the people He created and how He wanted a relationship with them. He gave up His own life to prove that fact.

So why aren't we doing the same? Why are we saying we are doing things in the name of the Lord when its not something He would do?

Monday, January 25, 2010

Trying to set boundaries

In every journey there are boundaries that need to be set such as distance, time, and other areas to make the journey more successful and enjoyable.

In the past I've had fifty day journeys where I picked a topic that I wanted to learn about or improve in my life or something that needed to be taken out of my life and worked at it for fifty days.

This is the first time I am doing a year long journey and its on day 25 and I've done very little since the begining of the year.

Most of my journeys are ones that God has led me to be on, and there are those that I got to pick the topic.

This is one where I picked the topic but God is definitely in the lead. Actually He's had several topics in mind and He leading and I'm following rather blindly into unknown territory.

I am finding out that I've dealt with rejection for most of my life but never really faced it head on as for what it really is. I think I learned from an early age to put up a wall so it wouldn't hurt when it did happen. I found out a few weeks ago that that's considered a passive aggressive attitude towards myself where I hide from my own self and then get angry because I didn't stand up for myself when the time arrived. I found that I had been creating the problem myself moreso then what I was seeing it.

Yes there are times where I know I was rejected. But not as much as I had percieved it.

This journey was suppose to be about studying the 2000 years of Charismatic Movement and its kind of went on a different path to letting go of past experiences and just learning to trust that God has not forsaken His own. This is one journey I unknowningly had in the works for many years and it is now coming to pass. It won't be a long journey but there will be an end to it and it will not be in my life anymore.