First and foremost I am who I am because of my relationship with Christ.
Secondly, as I try to walk along in obedience to what He’s called me to be in many facets of my life; some do go better then others. It’s in the struggles that I am learning to find strength to continue to walk out my faith.
That being said, I still struggle with confidence in what God’s called me to do. For example people like to make comments about how I do things some not nearly as helpful as others if you get my drift. Some can really hurt to the bone when they don’t really see how deep God has called me in some areas of my life.
One thing God’s called me to do is to see Him as my employer. I’m a field worker is the best way to describe my employment with Him. It’s actually what I’ve always wanted to do and that’s being able to be there to help someone in need. Some times I have financial rewards in this area, sometimes not. But His currency is not our currency so actually I am always rewarded for what I do for Him, and abundantly rewarded at that. He’s the one that calls me to work.
I’ve let God know of my needs, and for the most part no one else. I’ve told the story about how I whined about a tube of toothpaste and my client handed me one. Yesterday a friend bought me an ink cartridge for my printer and I asked her if I whined and she said no and asked why I would ask that. My response was that “good, I’m growing!” On my trip I’ve stayed as close as possible to not mentioning my need (letting others do the math!) and God has been faithful and has provided, and yes there has been stress involved in that, but for those who see stress levels rising, look at where the faith level is at compared to the stress level and then reverse it!
Some have asked why I don’t do make up and the like. When you live like I have since last October when I made this decision, it’s called a luxury not a necessity. Someday I will get back there but I’d rather see my money being used elsewhere right now. It also goes in the same manner as for other things that get taken for granted that which we think we need in life.
I leave in a week for an area that although very rich in culture lacks in monetary stability. Because if this status it is still considered a third world country. Again, its out of obedience to a calling that I have on my life. I really have better things to do during those two weeks; celebrate two birthdays- my daughters 20th and my grandmother’s 104th, my 22nd anniversary and my daughter graduation from beauty college. But I know that God’s call comes first and those that are important in my life know that too.