My husband likes to remind me occasionally of quotes I've made to him when life seems as if we can't seem to get past our circumstances to meet our goals.
For three years I worked with the same clients in home care and I grew to love them over the years. We have a great relationship that up until a few months ago I was too stressed to see what was going on. I was in school and had just finished when I began to think things that I prefer to not mention. Like I had stated before I had a mindset that I thought I had to match my husband's income to get out of our debt quicker, pay off the house, and be able to do the things that we wanted to do above the mountian of medical bills that had piled up between Dani and I in the past year.
When my employment ended at the nursing home, this couple hired me back on call for now. I feel as if I am back home.
Several months ago as I was driving to their home to work when I was on the day shift, the Lord reminded me of something I had prayed for several years ago.
Hubby and I's dream was to eventually buy a piece of property out of town, make payments on it until we could afford to put a manufactored home and it and sell where we are. I wanted to have an ocean view that I could look out at every morning the sun rise and the boats as they were going out to sea, sipping coffee on the deck and having my devos.
One day my client's husband and I were standing in the kitchen and I was looking out the window and I realized, that God had given me my dream.
So it wasn't in the form that I was hoping (for one thing its is a stick built home!) and it really wasn't my home, but I was able to go to work, have coffee in the breakfast nook and watch the sunrise either when I got off work in the mornings, or watch the boats leave the port when I got to work during the day.
I also took pictures of deer roaming on the property and playing in the field below.
God had given me my dream then and He returned it to me when I was done with this past journey.
Do I regret my education? No. I was able to do that while working. I don't regret any of what I've gone through in the last six months. I admit I had thoughts of telling them that the prodigal has returned home, but my Oford American Dictionary states that my experience was not prodigal material as I was not wasteful or extravagant in my journey. I increased my learning in taking better care of those that I do care for already.
In learning to be content I have now been able to let go of the fear of being retired and still living in the same house I am in now. It really doesn't matter as I really like this home and the area I am in. There's still a lot of work to be done here, but we've got plenty of time to get it done.
Being content is not easy when you watch the outcome outwiegh the income, and watch that the things that you already have get worn to the ground and you can't replace them like you would like to and have to do without for a while.
But contentment means that all of our needs will be met when we need them. Apparently I don't need my family room as the old dining set is there, as well as parts of the kitchen that we are still working on when we found the pipes were leaking, not to mention the master bathroom where the former vanity is still taking up a small portion of the master bedroom until we can get the floor put in.
But I am content with where God has put me. I am His employee, even though at times I still ask "Why me?" Because even though I made the choice to work for Him, He first chose me.