This topic may be a while to go through.
I have a good number of friends. We talk and laugh, cry and share our joys and sorrows together.
However, as my friendships develop, I find a common thread that really needs to be broken in several of them. Its called rejection. And it has twisted its way into the hearts of women in ways that are so subtle that we aren't even aware that we are doing it.
I believe its a generational thing. It gets passed down from one generation to another for no real reason until someone is so afraid to even talk to anyone that has said something to cause fear in them that they became recluse because the world outside is frightful.
I'm talking about also of trying to be better then the "Jones". Of not wanting to let anyone near you or your home because they might judge how you live. Which that is a form of rejection where you are setting yourself up to be rejected while rejecting the person you don't want to have in your home and putting a label on them. The label may have come also from a generation before you.
The opposite side of the spectrum is not wanting you or your family around situations that as your children grow up will have to face as adults. Instead we are teaching them to begin to judge on the outside before they can see the pain on the inside.
As time goes on, I am finding more and more that rejection causes passivity. We became passive in our actions, not wanting to reach out to anyone, for help or to help. We are good at watching what goes on around us, but don't want to get involved becuase its not any of our business. When its a child being abused, a neighbor's home that is being robbed, its our business! Why continue passing on rejection?
With rejection comes pride. As long as we have the blinders on our eyes to what the pain is on the inside, we don't have to do anything about it.
I believe that rejection is the strongest in women in many different forms and like I said I don't think we are aware of how deep that rejection is within ourselves.
I'll talk about that more in my next blog entry.
But today, you can break that rejection off of you. Fist of all, think of someone that has hurt you. They may not know that they have, so don't apoligize to them for it yet, but do something for them. bake a cake, find a book that is of common interest to both of you so you can have a common ground to restart a friendship. By doing this, you are reducing the passivity in your heart and the pride, and also doing the same in the other person because since rejection is a big thing, they've been feeling it also.